I observe that infants create, explore, and experience the world with wonder, joy, and amazement. There is no place in this discovery process for the arrogance of knowing or doer-ship. There is no sense of superiority or pride of achievement in what one has learnt, discovered, or experienced. There is only an experience of pure joy and wonder.
What changes in us that we arrogate to ourselves a sense of pride in our doer-ship and knowledge as we grow? Why does every discovery, understanding, and successful experience become a badge of achievement and a source of pride? As this begins to happen, the germs of arrogance are naturally planted in our being, creating a harvest of unhealthy pride that we reap, consciously or unconsciously, throughout our lives.
I do not wish to suggest that one should not have a sense of healthy pride in what one works toward or achieves in life. Rather, what I wish to focus on is the tendency to become identified with the ego-drive that believes it is the sole doer and controller of the results that follow our efforts. We revel in our achievements, believing that they make us bigger, better, and superior to others. A powerful dopamine push makes us feel good about ourselves, and we wish to self-aggrandize our accomplishments, hoping to be heard, celebrated, and recognized as the one among the many.
The Tao Te Ching warns us:
“He who stands on tiptoe is not steady.
He who strides cannot maintain the pace.
He who shows himself is not enlightened.
He who justifies himself is not respected.
He who boasts achieves nothing.”
— Tao Te Ching, Chapter 24
Even in spiritual circles we are not free from this taint of arrogance. It is not uncommon to want to proclaim all that one thinks one knows and secretly revel in the sense of superiority that comes from believing one has access to knowledge, understanding, or spiritual experiences that place one ahead of others who are struggling to find their true Self.
We forget that this is a journey of unravelling mysteries that may have no answers. We are traversing states of wonder that may have no words to describe them. We develop a knowing and a seeing of ourselves that can only arise when we are truly empty, humble, and in a “state of spiritual poverty.”
“Into blinding darkness enter those who worship ignorance (avidyā);
into even greater darkness, as it were, enter those who delight in knowledge alone (vidyā).”
— Isha Upanishad, Verse 9
Eckhart consistently contrasts pride (superbia) with true humility, arguing that pride arises from attachment to the ego, achievements, or spiritual status.
“Unlike moralistic condemnations of pride alone, Eckhart’s mysticism goes deeper: arrogance is dangerous because it centres the self rather than God. The spiritual path therefore involves detachment, self-emptying, and radical humility so that the divine ground can emerge within the soul.”
— (Ignat, 2011; Cooper, 2002)
As spiritual searchers, there comes a time when we begin to see this tendency more clearly in ourselves. Yet, we are never entirely free from ourselves and our need to be approved and celebrated. Ravindra writes in Heart Without Measure about his conversations with his teacher on vanity and her considered response on how we need to handle it:
“If you did not have vanity, what would you do? … Unless there is the Real I, there is only the ego. So let it be. One recognizes the presence of I from the fact that I wishes to serve. Ego does not wish to serve. But until there is the I, let the ego be. It can be useful. What else are you going to do? When the I appears, the ego automatically loses energy and becomes unimportant. It can still be there, but it is not in control. … Ego is a good servant but a bad master.”
This is a critical lesson for all searchers: how can we be closer to our real I, and how can we have “freedom from ourselves”? The ego needs to do, create, and achieve—but without assuming it holds dominion over the self. Ego identification is our undoing.
The Bhagavad Gita gives us many clues about the qualities of ahankara and how we can be beguiled and trapped by the false belief that I am the doer.
“Bewildered by egoism, strength, pride, lust, and anger,
these malicious people hate Me in their own bodies and in others.”
— Bhagavad Gita 16.18
The shloka suggests that when the ego rules, it does not allow the real I to reveal itself. We are blinded by our pride and our achievements, believing that only the ego has done this.
“The deluded self, through egoism, thinks: ‘I am the doer.’”
— Bhagavad Gita 3.27
“Self-conceited, stubborn, filled with pride and arrogance,
they cling to their ego and act out of delusion.”
— Bhagavad Gita 16.17
Meister Eckhart speaks in the same vein when he says:
“The proud person seeks himself in all things; the humble person seeks God alone.”
— Sermons and Treatises
So what must we, who seek to be true searchers of the divine, do or watch out for as we deal with the growing arrogance within us?
- Learning to be non-competitive and to serve something higher than my ego
I have always been struck by this quote from the Tao Te Ching about being like water:
“The highest goodness is like water.
Water benefits all things and does not compete.
It stays in places that others disdain.
Therefore it is close to the Tao.”
Learning to be empty of pride and egoism—not of the ego itself—is essential. Can I see that I do nothing, but that prakriti works through me while the real I in me observes all that is done and remains totally unaffected, unidentified with the end results—gain or loss, joy or sorrow?
This state of vairagya, which comes from freedom from the fruits of action, arises only when I have cultivated the equanimity to deal with loss and gain, sorrow and pleasure, honour and dishonour with detachment. When I do not tilt toward either state and remain consciously between the two forces, arrogance begins to dissolve. Arrogance comes from identifying with the ego; wisdom comes from realizing the deeper Self.
- Learning to place myself beneath others
In the Tao Te Ching, an important lesson is given:
“Why are the rivers and seas able to be kings of the hundred valleys?
Because they lie below them.
Therefore they are able to rule them.”
— Tao Te Ching, Chapter 66
Can I become a more discerning listener, improve the quality of my seeing, and be willing to accept others as I accept myself—for what they are, without judgment? At the same time, I must not lose my discrimination or my ability to see what is needed and expected of me in any given situation.
- Limiting excess
Excessive power, excessive fame, and excessive wealth bring their own addictions and fears. When I learn to be content with just enough and share what I have with others who need it, I can be freer of the corruption these qualities bring with them.
- Seeing all in the Self
This requires dissolving any attitude of superiority and ridding myself of the belief that only I know, only I can see, only I can do—and therefore I am above others.
Can I listen to another’s point of view with as much respect and openness as I give my own? My teacher Ravi Ravindra says, “Don’t be against anything.” I see that being against something only forges a bond with it and strengthens my identification with it.
The Dalai Lama says that when you speak you only repeat what you already know, but when you listen you may learn something new.
How can I cultivate this willingness, openness, and humility toward life and its wonders? How can I become free of my arrogance?
“Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment;
cleverness is mere opinion, bewilderment is intuition.”— Rumi
